Who works for whom.

Picture the last review meeting. The advisor talks. The screen shows the charts that go up. You nod at the right moments. There is a number you do not quite follow, but the tone is reassuring, so you let it pass. You leave feeling vaguely fine and slightly smaller. And you booked the next one for a year out.

I want to name what happened in that room. You were the client. Which means you were the employer. And you sat in it as the junior person.

This is the one that surprises women most, because they run the other version of this relationship all day. You manage vendors. You fire the firm that underdelivers. You would never let someone you are paying set the agenda, control the information, and leave you nodding along to a number you did not understand. You do not accept that anywhere else. You have simply been trained to accept it here.

An advisor is a person you pay to work on your money. That is the whole relationship. Good ones welcome the pressure. The ones who bristle when you ask a direct question have told you something important about who they think is in charge.

So this week, one rep. Do not just ask a question this time. Direct something. Take one decision you have been quietly leaving to your advisor, or to no one, and make it yourself. Then tell them. Not "what do you think about," but "here is what I want to do, walk me through what it takes." If you do not have an advisor, the decision is simpler and bigger. Decide, on purpose, that you are the one managing this, and book the first hour to act like it.

Watch how the room changes when you stop asking permission and start giving direction. The good advisor leans in. That is the one you keep.

The client sets the agenda. That was always the job. Someone just forgot to tell you the seat was yours.